"Anyway," he continued grumpily. "What's all the fuss about this Amber bird, then?"
I explained the fabulous events of Saturday night. The meeting of Jed's spectacularly gorgeous cousin Amber, my instantly falling for her charming insanity, our wildly erotic coupling and subsequent two day bed-in, how our best laid breakfast-in-bed plans went awfully awry, how I left her to hit the local cornershop for eggs, bacons and sausages, but couldnae find my way back to her gaff.
Tom thought it an amusing tale, but apologised, he had no fucking clue as to the name of the street where Jed and his gorgeous cousin lives, nor the number of their house.
He did, however, say he'd give Jed a buzz and find out for me, though.
Hallelujah!
I promised Tom I'd suck his cock dry every Sunday for three months if he could facilitate a reunion with Amber.
“Hmn..." Tom seemed decidedly unmoved. "By the way, how's it going with the wedding shit? If you need material for your Best Man speech, I can tell you about the time I took two central American hookers out to dinner in
“Nah, I think I’ll be okay.”
“…the waiter gave us the best table in the place, but the food took a fucking age. While we were waiting, for a giggle I bet one of the ladies I couldn’t eat a whole handful of hot chilli peppers. I tipped out a handful and knocked them back with a fuck you grin. Of course, there was instant pain. Sweat pouring off my hair and everything. So I gets up, staggers off to the loo and throws up, then takes a massive piss. Got chili pepper all over me cock from the old fingers. Couldn’t walk with pain. It was fucking funny...”
Jed knew nothing of it, but gave Tom his address.
I now know I'm going to see Amber again.
I got filthy stoned and drunk and wrote two whole songs this evening to celebrate.
