My brother called today, just to find out how I am. Half-way through our convo though, my little nephew Harry grabbed the phone.
“Hello," he said, brightly.
“Hey Harry, how's it going?”
"Good...how are you?" “Oh, you know. Bit confused about women at the mo', but
you know, basically okay.”
"...You sound funny."
"I do?"
"Yes, like you're speaking via an echo chamber."“I am speaking via an echo chamber.”
"...No you're not."
"I am. I had one specially built in my front room."
“...Uncle Zac, you know what?” “Nope, what?”
“I’m getting bigger and stronger every day."
“Well, that's true.”
“Today, dad measured me and said I’m already one hundred and seventy metres stronger than you.”
“Wow.”
“I’ve got nine muscles on one side of my body, and nine on the other side.”
"Blimey.”
“And guess why?”
I made a play of thinking deeply about it for a long time, my mind coming up a sorry blank.
“Give up?” Harry asked impatiently.
“Not yet.”
“’Cos I ate all my peas!”
Harry shouted it out in triumphant manner, like it's the best possible thing he's ever done.
“Good boy,” I enthused. “Peas are full of goodness. Eat loads, they’ll make your muscles big and strong.”
“And guess what as well...I want to be like Luigi.”
“Who’s Luigi?”
“Luigi is the man in the ice cream shop.”
“Okay.”
“Except I’ll have a shop that won’t just sell ice creams. It will sell helicopters and pets too.”
“Big demand for that in
“What?”
“Nothing. I think combined ice cream, helicopter, pet shop is great.”
“Goodbye!"
And with that, the little chap hung up on me.
